Changes
by sHlander
Summary: Carmen and Shane never broke up and Shay enters their life
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Carmen wakes up to the sound of buzzing. She looks at the clock and it reads 2:58am. She groans and starts gently shaking Shane. "Shane. Baby, you gotta get up, someone's calling you."

Shane groans and pulls a pillow over her head.

"Babe I'm serious. What if something is wrong?"

Right then the phone stops buzzing and lighting up, but then almost immediately starts again.

"Shane seriously! Come on just check and see who it is."

Shane pulls the pillow off her head and rubs her eyes, "only if you promise to go to sleep," she says.

She sits up and fumbles for her phone on the nightstand.

"Hello?"

"Are you Shane mccutchen?"

"What? Um yeah. Yeah im Shane."

"This is Julie from the California Department of Child and Family Services. Are you related to a Shay McCutcheon?"

Shane's heart stops. A million thoughts race through her head and none of them are good. She yanks the covers off of her and turns on the light by the bed.

"Babe? Is everything ok?" Carmen says, eyes squinting from the bright light.

Shane doesn't hear her.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is Shay ok? Can I talk to him?"

"Ms McCutcheon im going to have to ask you to calm down," the women say, sensing the stress in Shane's voice. "I need you to tell me your relation to shay."

"He's my brother. I—I'm his sister. Is he ok? Will you just tell me what's going on please?"

Carmen gets out of bed and pulls on a big white t-shirt. Then she stands next to Shane and tries to put a hand on her shoulder, but Shane shrugs it off. Carmen tries not to take it personally because she knows that's just how Shane is but it's hard because she just wants Shane to let her be there for her.

"Ma'am calm down. I have Shay in the custody of DCF right now. He is fine but I was searching for a next of kin. There seems to be no contact information for the boy's mother and he kept insisting that I call you. I have to ask—would you be willing to meet me some time tomorrow and talk about this situation? We need to find a stable home for Shay and do what's in his best interest. We prefer to place children with family members."

"Um yeah. Yeah I can meet you, actually I can meet you right now if you want, just tell me where you are."

Shane starts to look around the room for her jeans, but Carmen has already found them and hands them to her. She shimmies into them with one hand and picks up a shirt from the floor.

"That won't be necessary. Shay is in a safe group home right now, he couldn't go home with you anyway-you have to be approved first. I suggest you come down to the DCF offices tomorrow and we can talk then. Ok?"

Shane lets the shirt drop to the floor and doesn't bother buttoning the jeans.

"Yeah. Yeah ok. Um what time do the offices open? Are you with Shay now? Can I talk to him?" Shane says as she motions to Carmen for a pen and paper. Carmen opens the drawer on the nightstand and hands Shane a pencil and a piece of scrap paper.

"The offices open at 8:30am. Yes, you can talk to him, but just know he is pretty shaken up. He needs you to be calm and assure him that he is safe and everything is going to be ok, got it? Make it quick."

Shane has tears streaming down her cheeks but when she hears that little voice, a small smile spreads over her face. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and then hears:

"Shane?" a shaky voice whispers.

"Hey little man," Shane says, "I heard you got into a little bit of a scrape, you feeling okay?"

"Uh huh…"

Shane hears his voice trail off and hears sniffles on the other line. Crying. He was crying, and Shane couldn't be there for him. It killed her to hear him like this on the other line. It felt like someone ripped her heart out. She knows that for Shay's sake she needs to be calm so she tries to push her emotions aside.

"Hey it's going to be ok, alright bud? I know you're upset right know but you're staying at a safe place tonight ok? Nothings going to happen to you. Tomorrow I'm going to go talk to some people and we are going to try to see if you can come stay with me for a bit. Would you like that?"

More sniffles and then, "Yeah."

"Alright, hey bud I gotta go ok? But I need you to try to be strong. Everything's going to be ok."

"Ok."

"Yeah? Ok I'll talk to you soon. Try to get some sleep."

"Shane?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Shay. Goodnight."

Shane finishes talking to the social worker and writes down the address and all the paperwork she will need to bring in the morning and hangs up.

She lets out a sigh and buries her face in her hands.

"Babe come here," Carmen says as she pats the spot next to her on the bed. "Tell me what happened."

Shane lets herself crash into the bed face down. With her head buried in the sheets she says, "I don't know."

Carmen puts a hand on Shane's back but can feel her tense up. After everything they'd been through over the past two years, Shane still seemed to close up whenever things got rough. Carmen knew that getting angry about it and demanding that Shane open up would just make her withdraw more, but it was so hard to see the woman she loved struggle by herself. It made her so mad that Shane couldn't see how important it was to Carmen to be honest and open.

"What do you mean you don't know? Who was that on the phone?"

"Some woman named Julie. She works for the DCF and I guess something happened with Gabe because now Shay is in custody and is staying at a group home tonight."

"Ok well lets go get him. He can stay here. Lets go."

"We cant. We have to be approved first. I'm going in to meet with his case worker tomorrow morning and try to see if he can stay here."

"Ok what time? I told my sisters I would go shopping with them in the morning but I can cancel that."

"No! You don't need to come with me. Im not some helpless kid who needs there mom to hold there hand. He is my brother and I'll handle it."

Carmen could feel the rage boiling up inside of her but past experience told her to keep it hidden.

"Ok," She said. "Im sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to go with you to hover over you like a mother. I just want to be there for you. I'm sorry babe."

Shane turned over onto her side to face Carmen. She regretted getting mad at Carmen the second after the words left her mouth. She knew Carmen wanted her to open up—hell that's what most of their fights seemed to revolve around—but Shane found it really hard to be raw about her feelings. Carmen always told her that if Shane loved her, she would open up-but Shane felt the exact opposite. Shane loved her so much that she couldn't bear to see those big brown eyes well up with tears and she knew that if she ever lost it and came clean about her past and her feelings, she would be the cause of the tears on Carmen's face. She couldn't do that to the woman she loved. Especially not with everything that happened with Cherie Jaffe. No, Carmen put up enough with her messed up life, she didn't need to share any more.

Shane choked back tears as she pulled her girlfriend close, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I'm just worried about shay"

"I know baby. Its ok."

Shane felt so helpless and like the room was spinning. She needed control. She lifted up ler lovers chin and kissed her hard on the mouth. She snaked her hands under the Latina's shirt and ran a finger around Carmen's left nipple. She may not have control over anything else in her fucked up life, but she could at least control this.

Carmen was sleepy and a little grumpy. She honestly didn't feel like making love but she knew Shane needed it and she felt like it was the only thing Shane ever let her do to help her, so she let Shane's hands wrap around her and fumbled to pull off Shane's jeans.

Shane stopped kissing Carmen long enough to kick her jeans off and then gently laid Carmen on her back. She crawled on top with one leg between Carmen's. For a moment she just stared at her lover. What had started out as a pure coping mechanism for Shane changed into something meaningful. She had no clue why this woman was still with her but she was grateful and wanted to show her. She leaned down and buried her head in Carmen's neck. She began kissing and licking her way down her body over that beautiful golden skin and every voluptuous curve.

Carmen tried to let her body relax but when Shane buried her head in her neck, Carmen could feel the tears from her girlfriend's face on her own skin. By the time Shane had gotten to Carmen's breasts—sucking on one while drawing circles around the other—Carmen couldn't take it anymore and pulled Shane's face up to look at her. Shane tried to look away, she didn't want Carmen to know that she was crying, but Carmen held her face and wouldn't let her hide.

Carmen flipped Shane over and climbed on top of the skinny, dark-haired woman. As soon as Carmen saw the tears on her face, Shane lost it. As much as she wanted to shield Carmen from how emotionally vulnerable she was, she couldn't seem to stop herself from crying. The Latina was right there to kiss her tear-stained cheeks and wipe the hair out of shanes eyes.

"Shhhh baby its ok. I'm right here. It's okay. Just go ahead and cry."

"Please Carmen. Don't stop. I need you. Please? I need to feel you close to me. I want you inside of me." Carmen would never understand why Shane always seemed to seek out sex when she was torn up inside-maybe because it was a distraction? Whatever the reason, Carmen pressed herself against her lover and made her way down the thin, pale body. She kissed behind her ear and every bone that poked out. She reached Shane's chest and stopped to admire it. She was so skinny, Carmen thought to herself, she barely had any chest to speak of-just two tiny breasts topped with two dark, hard nipples. So sexy, she thought.

She pressed her lips against one and gave the other a small pinch. She grabbed onto Shane's shoulders and started rubbing her leg between Shane's. She could feel the wetness and see the agony on her lovers face.

Shane bit her lip and turned her head to the side. Carmen felt so good on top of her. As Carmen began rubbing her leg against her slit, Shane suddenly felt the need to cover her face. She didn't try though because she knew Carmen was stronger and would never let her turn her face away to hide.

Shane took shallow breaths and writhed under her lover's control.

"Please, Carmen."

Carmen normally would have held off a little longer and enjoyed the look on Shane's face but she knew that the last thing her lover needed was to be teased. She spread Shane's legs and wrapped her left arm around Shane's right leg. She licked the fingers on her other hand and rubbed them around the moaning girl's folds. Then she let her mouth take over and licked with the flat part of her tongue-all the way from her dripping pussy to her clit. Shane's pelvis started moving, wanting more. Carmen smiled and held her lover steady as she parted her folds and moved a finger inside of her lover, then another.

Shane couldn't take it anymore-she needed a release. She started to beg.

"Please Carmen. Don't stop. You feel so good inside of me. I need more."

Carmen started rubbing the underside of her fingers against the rough spot inside of Shane, first going slow and then faster, all the while sucking gently on her swollen clit.

Stifled moans escaped out of Shane's mouth as she came closer to climax. She could feel Carmen thrusting in and out of her so hard that her whole body was shaking. It felt so good it almost hurt.

"Im gonna cum."

Shane's body suddenly went rigged as Carmen continued fucking her lover as hard as she could. She could hear Shane struggling to breathe and it sent a shiver down Carmen's spine knowing the satisfaction of making the woman she loved cum in her mouth.

Shane's body went limp and she tried to catch her breath. Carmen licked Shane clean and began to slowly pull her fingers out.

"No don't-" Shane said. "Just leave them. I want to feel you a little longer."

That one was new. Carmen went with it though and while still leaving her fingers inside, brought her body up to meet Shane's.

Eventually Carmen slipped her fingers out and Shane cuddled right in on her chest. Carmen wrapped her arms around her and they fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shane didn't sleep at all that night. By 6:30am she had already gathered all of the necessary documents to prove her identity, her relationship to Shay, and that she was employed. She dressed in black skinny jeans and a white button down. After that she sat on a chair and watched Carmen sleep.

Carmen's alarm went off at 7:30 and she woke up to see Shane staring intently at her.

She groaned and said, "Babe why are you staring at me like that? That's really creepy to wake up to."

"Sorry, I just couldn't sleep and I didn't know what else to do."

"Most people would just read a book."

Shane just shrugged.

"So have you decided if you want to go alone or not? I'm fine either way, I just want to support you however I can," Carmen said as she crawled out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to shower.

Shane scratched the back of her head and followed the Latina into the bathroom.

"Yeah, um actually I've been thinking about that. I want you to come. I could really use you're support, but the thing is that I don't know what will come up when I talk to the social worker. I mean I'm not trying to hide anything from you it's just that—well there is some stuff about Gabe that I haven't told you yet and I don't want you to hear about it in some sterile meeting where I'm fighting for custody of my brother. So, um I was thinking maybe you could come but when it's time for me to talk to the social worker, well maybe I could do that bit alone?" Shane expected Carmen to fly off the handle when she mentioned the bit about not having told her everything about Gabe, but Shane knew that a lot of stuff was about to come out and she wanted to be honest with Carmen about there being more to the story than she knew.

Carmen was upset that Shane hadn't told her everything involving Gabe—they've been together for almost two years and still Carmen was learning about Shane's past. She wanted to ask about the stuff that her lanky lover hadn't told her, but again she held her tongue. After all she was just happy that Shane was going to at least let her ride with her.

By 8:15 the two were sitting outside the DCF offices in Shane's jeep waiting. Carmen grabbed the other girl's hand and could feel how clammy they were.

Soon enough a middle-aged woman with brown hair walked up to the building and unlocked the door.

"Okay let's go." Shane said as she grabbed the papers and opened the door.

"Wait, me too? I thought—"

"Yeah you too. Just come on and don't talk too much."

They walked in to a dark, run down waiting room lined with torn up chairs. The woman from before turned to look at them.

"Hi I'm uh Shane McCutcheon. I'm here to meet with a woman named Julie about my brother."

The woman smiled and said, "Hi Ms. McCutcheon. I'm Julie. It's nice to finally meet you. Come sit in my office. You're friend can come too if you like."

Carmen stepped forward and offered her hand. "Hi I'm Carmen."

"Nice to meet you. Come on back, ladies."

Shane presented all of the necessary paperwork and after it all had been reviewed, Julie looked up and smiled. "Okay, so here is how this is going to work. I'll start the background check today and you will need to schedule a home visit for tomorrow. You need to enroll Shay in school, make sure he has his own room, and do the interview. If that all checks out than we can hopefully have Shay to you in a couple of days. You will still need a couple home visits once he is there but other than that things are looking good. Any questions?"

Shane was so overwhelmed. How was she going to get Shay his own room in twenty-four hours? A home visit-Jesus what if they don't like the place I live—what if it isn't clean enough or there isn't enough space for him or something?

"Um no," Shane answered, "Do you think we could do that interview now though? It would just be one less thing to worry about."

"Of course, however, Carmen, I must ask you to leave."

Carmen excused herself and told Shane she would wait outside for her.

The interview went fine, they just asked questions about who would be living at the house, if they could undergo and pass background checks, and some questions about her past experiences with kids.

She walked out to find Carmen on her cell phone.

"Ok yeah jenny—great thanks. You really are amazing. Ok Shane is here I gotta go." Carmen hung up the phone and looked pleadingly at Shane. "How'd it go?"

"The interview? It went fine I think. I'm actually more worried about this home visit. I think I'm going to have to go apartment hunting or something." Shane said.

"Don't worry about it. I already talked to Max and Jenny. Jenny is going to stay with Bette and Tina until she can find a house. When she does, Max is going to move in with her and help with the rent. Until then, we can get Jenny's old room ready for Shay. Max and some of his friends are already helping Jenny move her stuff out."

They got in the car and Shane let her head fall into her hands.

"That's great Carmen but how am I supposed to pay the rent on that house? Plus I can't just put Jenny and Max out on the street like that."

"You aren't putting them out on the street. Jenny could afford a mansion on the water if she wanted, and Max is still going to pay rent until he can move in with Jenny. And when they move out, well, I figure we can turn the guest house into my studio and between the two of us I think we can handle the rent."

"Car, what are you talking about? You mean you're going to help pay the rent? I can't let you do that. I'm going to have a seven year old boy running around the house—me. Not you. I know we are living together now but I'm not going to make you put up with that."

"No Shane. Just stop. You aren't making me put up with anything. I want to. I want to help you pay the rent and I want to help you chase after a seven year old boy. You aren't making me do anything. I love you and I'm not running away just because things are changing. Please don't make me move out and away from you!"

Shane just sighed and looked into those big brown eyes. She loved Carmen so much—she didn't want to make her deal with all of this, but she was so passionate about helping that Shane couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too, Carmen. There is no one else I'd rather split the rent with." Shane just smirked and looked over at Carmen, who laughed and gave her a punch in the arm.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning Carmen and Shane were frantically running around the house trying to make sure everything was in order. They had just put the sheets on Shay's brand new bed when they heard the knock on the door.

Shane looked up at Carmen. Carmen gave her a reassuring smile and with her hand on the small of the thin woman's back, guided her to the front door.

Shane cleared her throat and opened the door.

"Hey Julie, come on in," She said as she did her best to smile and not seem nervous.

Julie smiled and stepped inside.

"Hello ladies, how are you today?"

"We are good. A little nervous but excited to hopefully be able to bring Shay home soon." Carmen answered.

"Well don't be nervous, Shane seems like she can provide a stable home for Shay and that's what matters right now. So Carmen, Shane said yesterday in the interview that you will be living here as well? Along with another person named Max—is that correct? I'm a little confused as to where everyone sleeps considering there are three sleeping spaces and there will be four people staying here. I'm assuming Max is your boyfriend?"

Shit. Shane hadn't even thought to tell the social worker that she was gay—much less that she was living with her girlfriend. Was that going to be a problem? She hoped not. 'Well Bette and Tina went through this with Angie and everything went okay, plus I can't really lie—not that I'd want to. It'll be fine-this is WeHo in California after all. She cant be completely clueless,' Shane reasoned in her head.

Shane cleared her throat and walked over to Carmen, gently slipping her arm around the curvy girl's waist as she looked Julie in the eye.

"Actually we are the ones who are dating, so we share a room in the back of the house and then Shay will have the room next to that, here," Shane said as she began walking hand in hand with Carmen towards the hall, "I'll show you. Max has the studio out in the back, we can go back and meet him in a bit."

Julie's face turned bright red. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were the ones dating. Ok well that explains a lot more now. Ok let's go see Shay's room. Also could you show me where the smoke detectors are?"

Whew. Julie seemed fine with it—Shane finally started to breathe normally again. When she led Julie into the boy's bedroom, Carmen stole a glance at Shane, who smiled at her while simultaneously biting one side of her bottom lip.

After the smoke detectors had been counted and Julie met Max to fill out some paperwork, she went over a couple more things before she left.

"Ok so you need to have a fire extinguisher by the time I come by for your next home visit and make sure to get a lock for the back door. Other than that it looks like we are all set. I'm going to go to the office and file the paperwork on Max and I'll call you when I'm done. Then you guys can meet me at the group home where Shay is staying. Here are the directions. Hopefully we can get this done today so you can have him home tonigh." She smiled at the couple and walked towards the front door.

Shane squeezed Carmen's hand. Carmen couldn't help but feel her heart melting over the whole thing—Shane not running away, Shane letting Carmen help and not pushing her away, and as much as she tried to ignore it—that teeny little part inside of her that couldn't stop daydreaming about what a cute little family they would all be.

They showed Julie out and thanked her for coming.

As the door closed, Carmen cupped her hands around Shane's face and let out a small squeal.

"Babe this is great! Are you excited? You may get to bring home your baby brother tonight!"

"Shit, it's kinda scary when you say it like that."

"Don't worry you're going to be great. I can't wait to meet him."

Shane pulled Carmen onto the couch and held her close. "I can't wait for you to meet him either. I think he is really going to like you, but hey um, Carmen?"

Shane's face suddenly grew dark. Carmen's heart sank.

"Yeah babe?"

"Um, well it's just that I'm kinda worried. I mean I'm really glad you're doing this with me, I feel bad that you have to deal with this but I know I'm going to need your help. It's just—" Shane sighed and tried to find the right way to say what she meant without hurting Carmen.

"It's just what babe? Come on you can tell me." Carmen pulled Shane's chin up gently and looked into her beautiful, terrified, stunning neon eyes.

"It's just I'm worried. When I was a kid and I was in the system, people would just come and go. I mean I would get attached to someone and then they would decide they had had enough of me or that I was too fucked up or I don't even know what else. The point is that I'm okay with you doing that to me—but I'm not okay with you doing that to Shay. His life is really messed up right now and he needs people who he can count on who will be there for him no matter what. And I know that's a lot to ask of you but I need you to know. If you don't think you can stick this out—and I wouldn't blame you, I still love you—I need you to let me know now. Otherwise I need you to commit to being there for Shay, no matter what happens in our relationship. No matter if we argue, or we break up or whatever—as long as Shay is my responsibility, I have to protect him. I can't have him getting close to you and then you leave him."

"Shane look at me. In the eyes."

Carmen put her hands firmly on Shane's shoulders and starred directly into Shane's soul.

"I promise you that no matter what, I will be there for your brother. Even when I get all crazy and Latina and yell at you for something stupid, I promise to be there for Shay. Even if you decide you hate me and break up with me, I promise that won't mean that Shay has to break up with me too. I told you I'm doing this and I mean it. I know what I can handle and I can handle this."

Shane's eyes were full of tears. Damn she hated when she cried, she felt like such a baby. Half the time she didn't even know why she was crying. Like now she didn't know if she was crying because she was upset that Gabe would put Shay in danger, nervous that she was going to be responsible for someone else's life when she couldn't even handle her own, or that she was so happy that Carmen was staying—that she would be there to help. It meant so much to her. Not many people offer to help take care of someone else's kid.

Shane rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed back the tears.

"You okay?" Carmen asked.

"Yeah," Shane smiled through her tears, "Yeah I'm more than okay.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Three and a half hours later Carmen is sitting at the desk with her headphones on working on some mixes and Shane is sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of water in one hand while she stares at her phone.

Carmen looks over and sighs. Shane has been sitting there for almost three hours and looks like death warmed over, so Carmen gets up and walks over to her. She puts her hands on Shane's shoulders and starts to massage them.

"Hey there Casper, are you hungry? I know you're nervous but you need to eat."

Shane gently shrugs off her girlfriend's hands. She doesn't feel like being touched right now.

"I'm not hungry. What's with the 'Casper' thing?"

"Casper! The friendly ghost? Ghosts are pale and you're looking really pale right now so—get it? But you aren't acting too friendly right now so maybe it wasn't a good comparison." Carmen feels frustrated again so she goes over to the fridge and pulls out the orange juice.

"Sorry," Shane mumbles, "I'm not trying to be mean its just, well why hasn't she called? I mean she said today, what's taking so long?"

"Babe I'm sure there is a lot of red tape and paperwork to deal with. I'm sure she will call as soon as she can."

Shane has a frown on her face so Carmen walks over to her again and pulls the shaggy head into her chest. She gives her s soft kiss on the head and then Shane looks up at her and pats her legs.

"Come here, sit on my lap."

Carmen smiles and gladly obliges. She straddles Shane and wraps her arms around her neck. Shane lets her head rest on Carmen's shoulder and inhales deeply.

"How do you always smell so good?" she asks.

Carmen laughs and answers, "It's easy when you don't smoke a pack a day. You should try it sometime."

Shane pulls away and is about to protest but all of a sudden her cell phone starts ringing.

Shane reaches past Carmen and answers the phone—eyes wide and body stiff.

"Hello?" She says.

"Hey Shane it's Julie. Can you meet me at the group home in a half hour? Everything checked out so you can get him tonight if you like."

"Yeah, no tonight works great," She smiles up at Carmen, who cocks her head to one side and smiles back. "We will be there in a half hour. Ok bye, see you then."

Shane hangs up the phone and then scoops Carmen into her arms and stands up.

"Shane what are you doing?" Carmen says while laughing. "You better not drop me!"

Shane smiles back. "I would never do that to you, Carmen. Are you ready to go? Can we leave now?"

Carmen chuckles and thinks about how similar this situation is to bringing a new baby home—you get the room ready and make sure all the matches and sharp objects are put away; then you wait for what seems like forever and then all of the sudden its here and it's time to bring the new one home. She knows she shouldn't think like this because, well Shane probably would never even want kids, but she can't help but hope that maybe someday they will get to do this all over again with a baby of their own.

"Yeah I'm ready, let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

"Hey Carmen?" Shane is driving her jeep with one hand on the wheel and the other holding Carmen's.

"Yes?"

"I just, uh, I just want to warn you that sometimes the group homes can be a little rough. I just don't want you to be shocked or anything."

"Um what do you mean 'a little rough'-Do you not remember where I grew up?" Carmen can't help but laugh a little bit.

"Yeah I know but-I don't know you'll just see what I mean I guess."

They pulled onto a gravel road and drove towards a brown house that had the sign 'California Boy's Ranch' in front. Shane knew what kind of kids stayed at the youth ranches—she had been one.

Julie's car was outside and she was waiting, looking a little nervous and pale as the couple got out of their jeep.

Shane noticed the look on Julie's face and immediately knew what that meant. She could feel the anger boiling up inside of her. Carmen, however, hadn't had quite as much experience with the foster care system as Shane did so she innocently asked, "Is everything ok Julie?"

Julie gave a weak smile and answered, "Yeah, everything is okay. I mean you can still take Shay home tonight and everything it's just uh—well see Shay is the youngest boy here and well I guess the other night some of the other boys were picking on him. Things got a little rough. Why don't we go inside?"

Carmen was confused—where were the house parents? Why hadn't anyone stepped in? Wasn't the reason Shay was removed in the first place because his other home wasn't safe? How could this happen? She felt the anger growing inside of her. She had to remind herself to calm down—this wasn't her kid or her brother, yeah she was going to be a part of his life but hell—she hadn't even met him yet!

She looked over at Shane and could see the anger on her face too. They followed Julie into the house and were immediately greeted by a skinny little boy with black hair and a black eye to match. He was running down a long hallway towards them and all Carmen heard was "Ssshhhaaaaaaaaaaaaannneee!"

Shane heard him before she saw him. She turned to look and immediately squatted down to prepare for the impact—he was running full speed ahead towards her with a giant smile and his arms spread wide. He ran into her arms and she picked him up in a bear hug. She smiled and as soon as he was in her arms she felt all her worries disappear. Sure—she knew that the arrangement would likely end and things were far from ok, but in that moment she knew that Shay would be safe—even if just for a little while.

Shane started to tear up a bit.

"Shane! I missed you so much! What took you so long?" The little boy said as he clung to his sister's neck.

"Hey to you to buddy! Sorry it took me long, I had to make sure your new room was just right before I could come get you."

"My new room? At your house? You mean I get to stay with you?"

"Yeah that's the plan, at least for now. Come here I want you to meet someone."

Carmen was overwhelmed. The little boy was the spitting image of Shane; he was skinny and pale with dark hair and striking neon eyes. When he ran into Shane's arms, Carmen's heart melted into a puddle and that started to flood her eyes. Seeing Shane hold her little brother and tear up was almost too much to handle. All of that combined with the bruises on the boy that made Carmen's blood boil-it was safe to say she was a wreck.

Shane put Shay down and turned towards Carmen.

"Shay this is Carmen, she is my girlfriend. Carmen this is my brother."

Carmen gave a little smile and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you Shane's brother!"

Shay was glued to Shane's right leg. When Carmen introduced herself, he looked up at his big sister as if to ask permission to talk to the Latina.

Shane nodded while smiling and said, "It's okay. Go on and say hi."

Shay looked back at Carmen with a lopsided grin on his face. Then he looked down at the floor and reached his hand out to hers. "Nice to meet you too Carmen."

Carmen fell in love the minute she saw that silly little grin on his face.

Thirty minutes later they had signed the last paper and put Shay's bag in the back seat next to him. Shane looked in her rear view mirror back at her brother to make sure his seat belt was on.

"Alright, is everyone ready?" She said.

"Mhmm, yeah," the two others mumbled.

"Ok good. I think I'm ready for this too." She leaned over to smile at Carmen and grab her hand. Carmen smiled back as Shane lifted the tan hand to her lips before putting the car in gear.

"Gross, Shane! That's disgusting, why would you do that?" Shay had a look of horror on his face.

Shane smiled, "Get used to it, bud."

"So how about we pick something up for dinner since it's already pretty late? Shay where do you like to eat?" Carmen asked.

"Uh I dunno," he shrugged. "Maybe in-n-out burger?"

"Yeah that sounds good. But hey before that we need to stop and get that fire extinguisher, I don't want to forget." Shane added.

"Why do you need a fire extinguisher, Shane?"

"Uh because Carmen used the last one a while ago and the foster agency requires it. That way, ya know if there is a fire, instead of grabbing you and getting out of the house, I can rush around trying to figure out how to work the thing while you stand next to me and breathe in all that carbon monoxide." Shane smiled and glanced to the back seat.

Shay and Carmen were both laughing, and for the first time, Shane felt like she had a family to call her own.

It was dark by the time they got home. Shane carried Shay's bag in and showed him his room. He seemed to really like it and afterwards he gave Shane yet another hug.

"So why don't you go take a shower and then after that let's take a look at that cut on your lip, okay?"

Shay nodded and headed to the bathroom.

Carmen was in the kitchen talking on the phone in Spanish when Shane walked in.

She hung up when her girlfriend walked in.

"Who was that?" Shane said as she wrapped her arms around Carmen's waist and buried her head in Carmen's shoulder.

"Mercedes. I was calling to update her on the whole Shay thing. She says hello and to bring your brother by to meet his abuela," Carmen said smiling.

Shane's head shot up and she got a smile on her face. "Abuela? Oh man she really wants you to have kids doesn't she?"

Carmen tilted her head back and laughed while Shane started to move her hands under Carmen's shirt. "Yes, she really does want us to have kids, even though I told her you aren't really into the whole kid thing."

Shane was leaving a trail of kisses on Carmen's neck, but she stopped when she heard what Carmen was saying.

"I never said that," She said as she starred into those deep brown eyes.

"Shane you don't have to say it. Whenever kids are around you try to make the quickest getaway possible. Remember my cousins and nieces and nephews? Yeah you looked like you were being attacked by a pack of wolves."

"I felt like I was being attacked by a pack of wolves! But seriously, I like Angie."

"Yeah but when do you ever hold her or play with her? You always end up just talking to Bette about meeting Angie's future boyfriends at the door with a shotgun."

"What so I can't be protective?" the slightest smile crept onto her face.

By this point Shane had Carmen trapped between her and the kitchen counter, with her hands slowly creeping up farther and farther beneath Carmen's tight t-shirt.

"That's not what I said, it's just, you know I've never really seen you be particularly affectionate towards kids."

Shane leaned in and started nibbling on Carmen's ear. Carmen let out a tiny squeal.

"Yeah well—" Shane started to say something but was suddenly pushed back by her lover.

"Carmen, what the-" Shane turned to see Shay standing in the doorway with a towel wrapped around him.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Uh nothing. I was just um tickling Carmen. Anyways what's up bud?"

"All of my clothes are dirty except for my underwear, what do I wear to bed?"

"You can borrow a t-shirt. I'll go get one while you go and have Carmen look at that cut okay?"

Shay nodded and looked up at Carmen.

"Does it hurt?" the Latina said as she motioned for him to sit down at the kitchen table and then grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom.

He shrugged. "A little I guess. My side hurts more though."

"Your side? What happened to your side?"

"That's where the older boys kicked me when I was at the foster home."

"Come here, move your towel down and let me see, ok? I promise I won't touch it."

Shay was hesitant at first. He didn't know Carmen and he was afraid she would make fun of how skinny he was—like everyone else. But he decided that if Shane liked her, than he could try too, plus it hurt a lot.

As he lowered his towel, Carmen's eyes got big. He had a bruise the size of a softball on the left side of his ribcage. She got up and started rushing around the kitchen while cussing loudly in Spanish.

Shane walked in with a t-shirt in hand. "Carmen, what are you doing? You're scaring him."

"Shane look at his ribs! I can't believe that this happened!"

Shane looked from the massive bruise to Shay's face. He started to cry.

"I-I'm sorry Shane. I didn't mean to make her mad, honest. I swear! Please don't get mad at me."

Shane dropped the shirt and ran to scoop him up.

"Shh it's ok. Hey don't cry little man, she isn't mad at you. She is just mad at the people who did this to you. I promise, it isn't your fault. See? She even brought you a bag of ice to put on it. She isn't mad at you."

Carmen handed Shane the bag of ice wrapped in a dishtowel and then backed away—'great' she thought 'first night here and I already made him cry'.

Shane carried the little boy over to the couch. "Come here, let's put this ice pack on it," she looked up at Carmen, knowing how confused and upset she was but not really knowing what to do about it at the moment, "Hey Car can you bring me that t-shirt?"

She nodded silently and brought it to Shane. Shay stopped crying and Shane helped him get dressed and carried him to bed. After she laid down with him until he fell asleep, she got up to go find Carmen. This whole family thing wasn't really working out as planned.

She found her girlfriend curled up in bed in a pair of black lacy panties and an oversized white t-shirt. Shane could tell she had been crying.

"Shane, I-"

Shane crawled into bed with her and pulled her into her arms. "Shh it's okay. You don't need to apologize. He is just really shaken up right now."

"I know but I feel so bad. I didn't mean to scare him. I-I want him to like me, now he is going to hate me!"

Shane couldn't help but smile at how overdramatic her girlfriend was being.

"Shh hey baby he is going to like you, ok? He just needs some time. Julie told me what happened and I just think it's going to be awhile until Shay feels comfortable trusting other people, but I promise he will come around."

Carmen looked up at Shane, "What do you mean 'what happened'? You mean the reason Shay got taken away?"

"Yeah. Apparently Gabe started doing drugs again like six months ago, it got pretty bad and Carla left. After that it was just Gabe, his needle, and whatever woman he decided to shoot up with that day—and Shay was there to watch it all. The final straw was when the neighbors called the cops because they caught Shay digging through their trash can for food."

"What? Oh poor baby! Oh I just want to hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay. I won't let anyone touch him."

Shane smiled. She never thought she would think this but it was incredibly sexy to see Carmen get so worked up and protective of Shay, she was like a mama tiger.

"Yeah," Shane replied, "So just try to be gentle around him okay? I know that's hard for you but he is pretty jumpy right now."

"Well duh, Shane! I'm not going to go all Latina on him! Damn I wish I knew all of this about an hour ago."

Shane laughed, "Yeah well don't sweat it. I'm sure he will come to accept and then ignore your dramatic outbursts in time—just like I do."

Carmen wrinkled her nose and glared at Shane as they turned off the lights and got ready for bed.

'Damn she is cute!' Shane thought to herself as she shimmied out of her jeans and pulled her shirt off.

As they laid under the covers and Shane pulled her lover in close to feel her warmth, Carmen thought of something she had been meaning to talk to Shane about.

"Shane?"

"Mhm?"

"Remember earlier when we were talking about the kid thing? And I said I knew you didn't want kids?"

Shane cut her off, "How can you say you knew? You never even asked me what I wanted—you just assumed!"

Shane loved Carmen but it irritated her when the woman she loved didn't even bother asking her about stuff. Carmen lay silently in thought while Shane was anxiously awaiting an explanation from her.

After a minute Carmen said, "Shane?"

Shane sighed, she was drained and honestly didn't want to get into this but she knew there was really no way out of it. "Yeah?"

"Have you ever though about having kids?" Carmen said, as she looked up at her girlfriend with big, round, puppy dog eyes. Shane couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah I've thought about it."

"And?"

"And I don't know. I know I'm not very good with kids. I mean they always seem to like me but I'm kinda freaked out by them. I don't want to mess them up, you know? And I'm not really good at knowing what games to play with them and stuff because—because shit Carmen when I was a kid I was just trying to avoid getting caught stealing food from gas stations and watch my back when I was sleeping on the streets."

The blunt honestly left a lump in Carmen's throat. She really wasn't expecting an answer like that from Shane. Shane had joked about sleeping on the streets and had told Carmen that she ran away from her foster homes a lot but she had never put it quite like that-she always tried to mention it casually or laugh about it.

Shane knew she shouldn't have said it. She didn't mean to. Carmen had had a rough night and she didn't need to deal with her bullshit right now—or ever actually. Shane searched for her sweet lover's face in the dark—searching for the tears that she knew would be there. Instead, she saw her smiling up at her.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

"I'm smiling because in the almost two years that we have been together, you have never once told me about your past as bluntly as just now. You have never opened up to me like that and just said whatever was in your head, you always try to sugar coat it for me."

Shane started to squirm; this conversation was making her uncomfortable. She didn't like talking about her past; she didn't want to be seen as something broken or fragile. Everyone around her saw a different side of her but Carmen—Carmen saw a part of her that made Shane want to run away in order to stop the pain she felt whenever Carmen got closer to her. At the same time, there was something so addictive and intoxicating about sharing her deepest moments with this woman—it was something that Shane was sure would destroy her.

"Uh yeah I just, um, I-"

"Shut up. You don't have to get nervous and scramble to find an excuse for what you did. I know you didn't mean to and that you regret it, but I liked it. I like knowing what goes on under all of that crazy hair." She said as she messed up Shane's hair.

Shane felt a little better that Carmen had lightened the mood a bit. She cracked a smile and looked at her lover.

"Carmen?"

"Yes my dear?" She said as she slowly began to crawl on top of Shane.

"Um, about the kid thing?"

"Mhm I'm listening," she said as she pressed her lips to the pale girl's neck and moved her hands down over Shane's breasts.

"Well uh, I'm not saying that I don't want kids I just, I just mean that I may want them some day, but I'm not ready for them right now. Okay? I'm open to it, just, well I'd like to get through 24 hours without the kid I have now crying on me. You see what I'm saying?"

Carmen smiled as she moved her way down Shane's body.

"Shane?"

"What?"

"I never thought I'd say this but can you please stop talking so I can show you how it makes me feel when you open up to me?"

Shane's ears turned red and she got a little embarrassed at Carmen's words.

"Wow. Normally I'm the one saying that."

They both smiled as Shane let her hands rest on the back of the Latina's hips. Shane could feel her warmth and could smell the vanilla soap on her skin. She tried to relax her body and remind herself that it was okay to let Carmen take the lead. She was her girlfriend—the woman she loved, the woman who stuck by her even when she fucked up, the woman who promised to stay and help raise her brother while he was in her care—the woman she could open up to and not worry about scaring off. That woman deserved to be let in, and Shane knew it, so as much as she wanted to gently remove Carmen's hands from her body and flip her over, she stayed perfectly still and let Carmen explore her body.

Carmen knew how hard this was for her girlfriend. Shane always wanted to be on top—to be in control, and to not let someone see a vulnerable side of her. Occasionally Shane would cave and let her lover take the lead. It was something that Carmen enjoyed and tried to cherish. She always tried to be careful with Shane, she took her time and read the signs from her body to see if her lover was enjoying it. Sometimes Shane would have her stop because it was too much to bear, and other times Carmen knew that she let her continue even though she had nightmares running through her mind.

Carmen wanted so badly to make rough love to her, but she knew they were still a long way off from that happening.

Shane felt Carmen's tongue gently make its way down her stomach and allowed herself to smile when her lover began kissing the skin just above the waistband on her boyshorts.

As Carmen began to tug off her underwear, she brought her face up to meet Shane's.

"Yeah?" She said pleadingly to the thin woman underneath her.

Shane opened her eyes and bit her bottom lip. She wanted Carmen to make love to her so bad—why was this so hard for her? She never had a problem letting a random woman fuck her—so why was it so hard now? Why did it make her feel so much more exposed and scared? She shook those thoughts from her head and gave a smile and a nod to the beautiful woman. Carmen's eye's lit up with excitement and she began to lick her lips in anticipation. Shane let out a laugh as Carmen pulled her underwear down and Shane kicked them off the rest of the way.

Carmen made her way down Shane's body again, leaving a trail of kisses behind. She got to her lovers thighs and gently spread them open. The Latina smiled when she saw Shane's juices.

"Mmm someone's nice and wet for me tonight!" Carmen teased.

Shane suddenly felt embarrassed and exposed. "Shut up, Car!" she said sheepishly as her face turned bright red and a shy smile slipped over her.

"Excuse me? No. That talk is going to get you nowhere fast," Carmen tried to keep a straight face, "Try again."

Damn. Carmen always knew how to put Shane in her place.

"I'm sorry, babe. It's just really hard to think straight right now."

"Oh, why is that?"

Shit, Shane wanted Carmen so bad, she hated when she teased her. She tried to lift her hips up to meet Carmen's face but the strong, tan arms held her down. Shane grabbed a pillow and put it over her face, but it was immediately ripped away.

"Answer me."

"I can't think straight because you are driving me crazy. Because all I can think about is how good you feel against me and how bad I want you inside of me."

Carmen looked up from between Shane's legs and smiled at her.

"Well?" Shane said.

Carmen licked her lips again and bowed her head. She used her tongue to open her lover's lips and taste her. Shane shivered at the touch. Carmen slowly licked her entire pussy while snaking a hand up to play with one of Shane's nipples. She began to lick faster and concentrate on her swollen clit. It was too much-Shane wanted to push her away but it felt so good at the same time.

"Carmen," she whispered, "Baby please."

Shane could feel herself getting closer and she bit down hard on her bottom lip while grabbing a fistful of sheets in one hand and using her other to shield her face.

Carmen wouldn't give. She didn't want to just make Shane come—any tramp could do that. No, she wanted Shane to let go, not just because of her own desire to see Shane let go, but because she knew that Shane needed it too—no matter how much she thought otherwise.

Shane couldn't even stay still anymore—her whole body was writhing with desire. When Carmen reached up and took Shane's hand off of her face, Shane knew she wouldn't get relief until she let go. She stopped holding back the noises in her throat and began to moan and pant softly-her mouth open as she desperately tried to breathe.

"Carmen, please," She said between moans.

Carmen knew she was ready. She gently inserted one finger into Shane's sweet, dripping pussy.

"Fuck Carmen. I'm almost there. Please don't stop."

Carmen inserted another and began gently sucking her lover's clit while thrusting where Shane needed it the most.

"I'm going to come."

Carmen felt Shane's whole body go rigged as she reached her climax, Carmen still pumping in and out of her until it was over. She gently pulled out and went up to kiss the still whimpering girl.

"Open your mouth, Shane. I want you to know what you taste like."

Shane didn't think twice—she would have done anything Carmen asked of her at this point.

Carmen kissed her and rolled her tongue around Shane's.

"Now swallow." She said as she pulled away.

Shane did as instructed and then opened her mouth again to try to steady her breathing. Carmen collapsed next to Shane and watched her try to compose herself. Shane couldn't figure out how she did that—how Carmen managed to scare the living daylights out of her but then by the end had her eating right out of her hand. It was pure torture, Shane thought, but she didn't mind it one bit. She pulled Carmen into her chest and wrapped her arms around her. Both women feeling satisfied by their lover, they quickly fell asleep.


End file.
